Develop Good Habits in the Special Needs Child
Teach Self-care, Household Chores, and Manners
Jun 12, 2009
Kids with special needs are kids first. They may have special communication needs. They may prefer that things follow a routine. They may understand concepts in very concrete ways. Regardless of everything else, they are kids first. Like all kids, children with special needs can learn good habits for home and school.
Start Young and Have Expectations
Talk with your spouse about the behavioral expectations for your child. Make sure that your child understands those by explaining them in the way that he communicates best. Some children might be able to sit and talk about the expectations. Some might use a picture symbol system. Others might communicate through sign language. Make sure your expectations are communicated before you are in the situation.
Be Consistent
The rules are the rules. That may sound harsh, but consistent rules will actually help the child behave well. If the expectations change from day to day or from situation to situation, it will be difficult for the child to know what to do. If the rule is to pick up toys when play time is over, it should always be the rule.
Follow-Through
Early on expectations are communicated. At that time, it is important for the child to be aware of the consequences. At the beginning, they will be the reason that the child obeys the rules. This is the case is there is follow-through. Again, if the consequences are inconsistent the child may be willing to take a risk that he will not get in trouble. Each time that he “gets away with” the undesired behavior, the more likely he will be to try it again.
The nature of the consequences should also be consistent. If the rule is a five-minute time out will happen for hitting a sibling, it should always be the consequence. If it does not hold true at Grandma’s house, then it can be very tempting to let that sibling have it instead of following the no hitting rule.
Like all kids, it is wise to start with the expectations at an early age. While some behaviors and responsibilities are no appropriate expectations for young children (clearing the dinner table), many apply to all ages: not hitting, using manners, and picking up clothes/toys.
Children with special needs should be included in the parent’s expectations for good behavior. Understanding how to communicate expectations, being consistent (with expectations), and following-through with discipline will make it much easier on both parent and child.
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