Make Life With Special Needs Kids Easier
Get Rid of Special-Needs Stress by Using Routines for Everything
Nov 10, 2008
Routine sounds so... boring. Why would any parents want to introduce something that is boring into their home life? Because most parents of special-needs children have lives that are chaotic and unpredictable, and they'd consider giving their right arm for a day that is "boring."
Why Have Routines?
Structure and sanity in a special-needs home come from having established, sensible, and easy-to-follow routines. Routines are simply "how this is done around here." They needn't be complicated or detailed, and they can (and should) allow for individual differences in family members. A good routine is an outline, consisting of broad strokes, and each individual is able to fill in the details according to his own preferences.
Good routines are more important for some activities than for others. Some activities that need good routines are doing homework and chores, and getting ready for school and sleep. Good bedtime routines are especially important for children with ADHD or sleep disorders.
Routines are the framework around which life is built. Any effective family has numerous routines in place, perhaps without even realizing it. If a family automatically does any task or activity, such as family members coming in from the store and putting away the groceries, then that family has routines. Of course, family members can automatically come in from school and shed backpacks and jackets as they run down the hallway, and that's a routine, too. The goal is to have good routines that reduce stress, not ones that add to it.
How are Good Routines Established?
Establishing a routine entails determining the times or processes that could most use a set routine, deciding what steps to include in that routine, making everyone aware of the new ideas, and developing the habit. This process can vary in the amount of time it takes – from one day to a month or more.
Some families will need to make a few minor changes before they can establish new routines, such as installing coat hooks, obtaining recycling bins, or labeling baskets or drawers. Facilitating new routines doesn't have to be expensive or complicated. Families shouldn't get caught up in extensive lists of items to do before they can establish new routines.
Wise parents will involve children in the creation of routines and processes. Involvement in the decision-making frequently makes the decision important to that person. Another reason to include children: sometimes kids will propose an insightful solution that parents haven't considered.
How Can Parents Make Routines Effective?
The hardest part for most families is developing the habit of the new routine. Three effective ways of ingraining the new concepts:
- Posting the steps of the new routine in a conspicuous place
- Practicing the new routine "for fun"
- Verbally reminding family members, "This is how we do it around here."
Some things to keep in mind:
- Special-needs children often take longer than others to learn new habits, so parents should give it time.
- Children who have medical issues may need a more flexible approach.
- Instilling new habits in special-needs children can be very difficult, especially with children who are intractable and insistent upon things being done a certain way, but it is worth the effort.
- When the routine takes hold, it will relieve stress and strain in the household.
- Creating new routines can be challenging at first, but doing so often brings much stress relief to families who need it the most – the ones with special-needs children.
