How To Handle Tantrums
Oppositional Defiant Disorder or ODD, as it is more commonly known, often occurs with other behavioural and mental health conditions, such as ADHD. In fact, it has been estimated that over 50% of the people suffering from ODD are also suffers of ADHD. There are plenty of other conditions that are more common in people suffering from ODD with the majority of these centring around pronounced learning difficulties.
When Is ODD Diagnosed?
ODD is often diagnosed when the child is in his or her teenage years. The symptoms, which vary in severity, include the child being irritated and annoyed by authority figures, which, in turn leads to them becoming uncooperative and generally defiant.
Experts suggest that ODD affects around 10% of children. ODD will be diagnosed by a specialist when the child has displayed a persistent pattern of disobedience towards authority figures, such as parents, grandparents and teachers.
Symptoms of ODD
Diagnosing conditions like Oppositional Deficit Disorder is actually quite difficult. However, you can use the list of symptoms below as a starting point.
- The child is argumentative with adults
- The child displays of defiance
- The child refuses to do anything when asked
- The child deliberately tries to upset people
- The child displays persistent and prolonged tantrums
- The child blames other people for their own mistakes
- The child displays touchy, or irritable tendencies
- The child appears to often be angry or irritable
- The child speaks to others in a hateful manner
Just because any of your children are acting up, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they have ODD. It’s perfectly normal for children to test the boundaries, especially at the ages of 2 to 3, and during the teenage years. This is normally nothing to worry about as your child will grow out of it eventually.
The Parents' Role In ODD
As a parent, you have an important job in your child’s upbringing. As such you should be finding ways to overcome your child’s ODD.
There are a number of things that you can do to successfully parent a child with ODD:
- Be positive. When the child does something right praise him or her and reinforce what he or she has done. Whenever your child does something for you, be sure to let him or her know that you are grateful
- Seek medical attention as early as possible
If you are particularly concerned about your child, then you might want to take him or her to see your family doctor. If he is concerned that your child is presenting significant symptoms of the disorder, then he will refer you to a psychiatrist who is familiar with dealing with children with such behavioural problems.
You should be aware that bringing up a child with ODD will be difficult, and it is important that you get support from other members of the family.
Moreover, as a parent you have to show that you are in control. Although children with this condition have a lack of respect for authority figures, you must try to retain control. You may want to try drawing up a "rules contract" to help you. This is a technique whereby you write down what you expect to happen on paper.
Sometimes this works because it makes it a more formal system, which the child may respond to as it is similar to the way they are often managed in schools.
This contract will also make children realise that they are responsible for what they do; children need to learn that there are consequences for their actions. Once the condition is diagnosed, at least you know the reason behind the errant behaviour, you can also look into treatment options and therapy with your doctor’s advice.
Dealing With Your Child's Tantrums
Many parents do not have the necessary tools to deal with this condition. They will normally react when their child starts showing defiance by giving in, threatening, screaming or sometimes negotiating. This isn’t the ideal thing to do as, by doing so, you are showing your children that they can get what they want by behaving in an unacceptable manner.
You no doubt know that children need structure. The problem is that it can be difficult to decide on the right type of structure. Regular parenting methods such as “time out” often don’t work with ODD children, as they will simply use the time to plot some sort of revenge!
You should talk over problems when your misbehaving child has calmed down. Most importantly, don’t give into temptation and join in with the shouting. Rewards are the best way of dealing with the condition, but never offer false rewards that are just intended to make your child feel better as this will have worse repercussions in the long run.
You should carefully pick your battles with your child, realise that you cannot possibly win every one. Make sure that you pick ones you can win, and then make sure that you do win them!
Working with Children with ODD
ODD is a difficult condition that can affect both younger children and teenagers alike, however, its precise diagnosis can be difficult and subjective. Nevertheless, there are a number of key coping mechanisms you, as a parent, can put in place to manage your child’s behaviour and manage his or her tantrums.
Remember to always deal with your child in a calm manner. Also, consider introducing rules, rewards and consequences to create wanted behaviours and reduce unwanted ones. A strongly defined structured environment will also go a long way to preventing this behaviour, or managing it if it should appear.
Whilst there is no definitive cure for this condition, the implementation of the techniques in this article will go at least part of the way to assist you in parenting your children successfully if they suffer from ODD.
