celebrity writers

Transitions for Disabled Kids

When College Siblings Come Home

Apr 16, 2007

Coupled with the need for a predictable schedule, the special needs child and his family can face significant adjustments in the spring when older siblings return from co

Research shows that change (even positive change) is stressful. This is true for the child with a disability as well.

Many children with disabilities have difficulty with change. Often this stems from the need for predictability in an otherwise confusing world. When the child with special needs knows the general (or specific) routine and the people who will be involved, he is better able to focus on the things that are new and possibly overwhelming.

Preparation

Use the calendar and lots of pictures to prepare for the arrival of an older sibling.
Talk about sleeping arrangements (are rooms shared, etc.).
Plan things that the child with a disability will want to show the returning sibling. Practice what will be said.
Write a letter, draw a picture, take photos, or make a video to send to the returning sibling.
Encourage the returning sibling to do the same. Everyone loves to get mail. This is an easy way to pave the transition to a summer with everyone home.
Include the sibling with special needs in preparing a special treat for the homecoming.
Consider making a sign or small gift for the returning sibling.
Encourage the returning sibling to do the same.

Getting Re-acquainted

Plan for sibling-only time to revisit favorite activities. At-home fun or short outings can help re-establish sibling bonds.
Allow the child with special needs to show older sib some new things around the home.
Plan time with the entire family to establish whole-family interactions. All siblings need to be assured of their place in the family.

A New Routine

Acknowledge changes/growth of all family members. If an older sibling has been away at school for a year, everyone has had time to grow and change. Encourage and support the new accomplishments and abilities of all siblings.
Remember that adjustment to change takes time. Getting back into the swing of things takes time – even if the routine is one that has been missed. There will be times when siblings with special needs and their returning college sibs will have difficulty. Family understanding and support are crucial to make a smooth transition to summer.

New Experiences

Look for opportunities for new experiences for siblings. Can the returning college sibling share a know-how? Is the special needs sibling ready to learn to make cookies? Ride a bike? Learn to travel on city-wide transportation?
Make a summer scrapbook. As siblings have special times this summer, record them in a child-friendly scrapbook that can be re-visited again and again. This is especially helpful as the transition back into fall comes.

The copyright of the article Transitions for Disabled Kids in Special Needs Parenting is owned by Lynn Moore. Permission to republish Transitions for Disabled Kids in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.