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There are times that parents must be away. To the child with special needs, the absence of a parent (even for a short period of times) can be upsetting.
Whether the absence is due to a trip for fun, business, or sadly – illness the absence of a parent obviously changes the dynamics of the family and how the household will be run. Many children are especially upset if the parent who will be away is the primary caregiver of the child. Having a plan for communication and reunion gives assurance to many kids with special needs. A plan gives understanding to a situation which might be problematic. Communicating the Absence Pick the time to talk about the absence. Enough time should be given for the child to have time to understand what will happen. By the same token, the child does not need to be told so far in advance that he will agonize about the event for a long period of time. Use a calendar to mark the time that the parent will be away. Calendars are helpful for communicating events, schedules, and changes. They provide visual representation of the absence. Calendars also give the child with special needs assurance that there will be an end to the absence. Children with hearing loss and those with limited language skills often find calendars meaningful. Talk about who will fill in for the absent parent. If Mom will be gone for a week to visit a friend, who will be the person driving the kids to school? Who will be responsible for picking the child up from school? Who will be preparing the family meals? Children with organizational difficulties such as many with learning disabilities may become anxious if the temporary routine is not made clear. Communication When Parents Are Away Provide ways for communication with the missing parent. Cell phones and the internet offer affordable ways to keep in touch. Offer a time just for the child to talk to reassure the child that the absent parent values contact with him individually. Planning the Return Home Plan a celebration for when the parent returns. Many children enjoy fixing a special snack or planning an activity such as reading favorite stories together or going to the park. In some families, it is the returning parent who plans these activities. Above all, approach the absence with a positive attitude. Absence is a part of life, and all children pick up on the reactions of their parents. If the child understands that it is only temporary and that the parents are taking it in stride, then he will be much more likely to do the same.
The copyright of the article When a Parent Is Away in Special Needs Parenting is owned by Lynn Moore. Permission to republish When a Parent Is Away in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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